Moving on

I've moved this blog into the new Typepad blog at http://basquette.typepad.com. I may end up creating separate blogs for political commentary and for The Tramadol Diaries (the nonfiction book I am working on), but for now - go there. No more entries will be made here, but I'll keep it up for a bit, as I work to mine past entries for the book.


One of these days...

I’m going to take a real class. Until then, I’m doing pretty well on my own. I am enjoying my subscription to Yoga Journal immensely. There was an article in the current issue about strength – different kinds, where they “come” from, which ones are most useful. Also, there were some good tips for increasing arm strength. Not quite ready for the arm balance asanas, but it’ll help me achieve a good chatauranga!

I’m also rising at 4:30 (most days – been having sleeping difficulties lately, and so also having difficulty rising on time). I do half an hour of morning pages (which are going to change into Natalie Goldberg-esque writing practice, soon), and then about 45 minutes of asanas – sun salutes, and various reclining leg stretch asanas – followed by 15 minutes of meditation. Yesterday, I think I overdid it a bit, and so I eased up today. Feeling better. It’s hard to know how to play on the edges of my ability without crossing the line into “pushing myself too hard.” But I’m learning!


Calling this one done

This has been an ongoing project of mine since childhood. Here’s what I’ve learned:

1. Everyone in the world has this problem, to some degree, whether they realize it, are working on it, or act the complete opposite or not. It’s true.

2. NOBODY IS PERFECT. I have to periodically remind myself of this. Just because I’m not perfect, does not mean that I have not earned the “right” to be confident.

3. EVERYONE deserves to feel confident. There is no right to earn. It is a right, period.

4. Confidence comes from setting goals, achieving them, and recognizing your success. It comes from beliefs, which are best when supported by actual events that produced real, solid sensations and emotions that you can then recall and use to foster and support your beliefs about your own confidence and skill level, which then helps you set goals and achieve them. It’s a nice, neat little cycle. And it works like that.

5. If all else fails, fake it. It becomes real after awhile. And until it does, it has the exact same effect.

6. It’s crucial. NOBODY wants to hire you, date you, have anything to do with you on a long-term or in-depth basis if you don’t have some degree of confidence.

7. Confidence does NOT mean selfishness, egoism, or bluster. You can be a nice person and a confident one at the same time.


Can't handle Atkins

Just can’t. It thoroughly screws with my digestion, no matter how much fiber and water I take in. And I can’t abide the bloated feeling. So I’m back to low-calorie, low-fat, reduced-sugar. Which – surprise! – leaves whole grains, lean protein, and fruits/veggies.


Rohinton Mistry and my efforts to read him like a book

Hee. I love bad puns.

I got a great book from Amazon Marketplace – last one for awhile, see Thing #1! – about his work. After I take care of the globalization subject, I’m going to tackle – nay, dive with relish into this one.



And to prove that I’m serious, to myself as much as anyone else, I’ve reordered my list of things to put this thing in the number 1 spot.

I spent my lunch time browsing for resources. There are a ton, to be blunt. I was a little overwhelmed. Thankfully, there’s a great website called www.myshingle.com that puts it all in one place for me. Yay, Carolyn! Thank you.

So I printed off some of the preliminary “this is what’s involved” articles and read them all. I began a separate goal page for this project in my planner, and I took one of those Myers Brigg tests (INTJ, for anyone who’s interested), to see if I “have what it takes.” Bottom line: I don’t care if I don’t have what it takes right now – I’ll spend the next year getting it.

So then I started laying out some preliminary steps and deadlines to meet them. The most exciting one for me is the last one – well, ok, the last two, given recent events:

8. Give notice. April 17, 2006.
8. Open up. May 17, 2006.

Holy guacomole. There it is, in black and white. No turning back now. I debated giving two weeks’ notice. But this is a small office, and my absence will have a large impact, and I don’t want to lose potential referrals or business, but also? I don’t want to start my solo life off on anything other than a positve note reflecting my deepest truest values, because THAT’S why I’m doing this to begin with. And I just don’t want to treat the people I work with that way – because I wouldn’t want to be treated that way if our roles were reversed.

My next steps: I have two weeks in July coming up on leave, where I will spend the time doing some deep self-evaluation on topics like – what kind of law practice do I want to build? what do I need to improve on? what are my current strengths? where do I see this going in ten years?

I plan to have my first draft of a preliminary budget by August 31 of this year, and my first draft of the business plan by Halloween. Early next year I’ll begin moving into specific tasks like puchasing equipment (or leasing), finding space (or building an effective home office), pinning down financing/funding, etc. The funding is going to be the biggest part of this, I have no doubt – or the most critical rather, because I think the biggest part is the business plan and the stuff that goes into it – but I am determined to make it. One way or the other, I will find a way for this to happen in ONE YEAR.

So it is written. So it shall be done.


'twould be nice...

... if I could do my job without feeling like I’m under a microscope or hammered at, attacked, besieged, bedeviled, and beset at every turn by the forces of darkness. OK - that may be a bit of hyperbole. I’m not sure how much, though. I’m scared to get that close to the detractors. What if they really are of Satan? Is there some safe clear-zone radius for the devil, where if you’re, say, at least ten feet away he can’t get you with the lasers that shoot out of his beady little red eyes? Eh – better safe than sorry.

I kid because I can, frankly, and it’s better than crying or allowing the arrogant ass the satisfaction of knowing that he got to me and that The Meeting that’s going on right now is causing me one microsecond of anxiety.


rising before the dawn

I’ve started something brand new and scary this week: getting up at 4:30 AM to write morning pages, do yoga, and generally set a positive spin on the day. The reason it scares me is that it’s not just a wake-up time – it’s a lifestyle. I never thought of myself before as the kind of person who gets up at 4:30 to do yoga. I wonder what’s next – crunchy granola and green tea? Oops, I did have a cup last night … sigh There goes the neighborhood. I have nothing against crunchy granola types. I just have never considered myself one. This is a brand new me, and a brand new way of being/living/thriving. I think it’s certainly a positive move, but it did get me thinking about the fears we have about changing, and how sometimes, they go beyond fear of failure/ fear of success/fear of the thing itself.

This? Is a brand new fear! Fun!